Missing You

Today marks 6 months since I lost my beautiful mother, my best friend. While I have made progress in accepting her death, there isn't a day that I don't long to be with her. There is an emptiness in my life and days where it's difficult to fathom she's no longer here on earth. I miss her love and friendship, our daily conversations, her humor and laughter, her spontaneity and willingness to do just about anything to have some fun, her listening ear with great advice, and her overall presence.

The holiday's will be difficult without her but I am at peace in knowing she isn't suffering. I feel her watching down on me and know she will continue to be with me until we meet in Heaven. Missing you.

 

Modern Mod

Fall 2014 is all about bringing back the 60's mod era. This style is characterized by androgynously dressed women with short pixie cuts, pale foundation, brown eye shadow, false eye lashes and pale pink lipstick. Miniskirts and dresses became shorter and were made famously fashionable by models such as Twiggy and Jean Shrimpton.

Here's a look at the up-to-date 2014 version of the 60's-inspired mod look.

Miracles in the Mess

I have missed this blog and certainly owe all who wrote me while I was away a HUGE hug of gratitude. I apologize it's taken me this long to explain, I do realize that I went missing for way too long. The plain and simple truth is that life happened. The past year has been a test of my faith with an abundance of challenges. In order to preserve my sanity, I needed to scale back on life's extras to simplify what felt like chaos. I won't get into all the details but will tell you it has been a bumpy road and unfortunately, doesn't appear to be getting smoother any time soon.

What's different now however, is that my strength continues to grow and I've found the ability to walk through life even when it seems to be crumbling upon me. Although difficult to see, through the chaos there is often a beautiful mess.  My greatest fears can be conquered and moments of despair can be overcome with unimaginable power that comes from a power greater than myself.

I recently read the book, 'You'll Get Through This', by Max Lucado which I highly recommend. I carry this message with me:

You'll get through this.

It won't be painless.

It won't be quick.

But God will use this mess for good.

Don't be foolish or naïve.

But don't despair either.

With God's help, you'll get through this.

We are never alone, everything happens for a reason and in the end the sad will make sense.

Treat Yourself

Let's face it, life can be tough at times and for those who have a tendency to put other's before themselves (which is an awesome trait) you are not only zapped of energy but left on the backburner. You cant expect to be there for others completely if you aren't there for yourself so, as I like to say "treat yourself." Make sure to find a good balance between your kindness and love for others and the love you have for yourself.

How do you decompress from life's stressors?
Here are some fun way you can treat yourself or someone whose going through a tough time:

1. Customized Pamper Kits in Mason Jars

Personalized for the person based on scents

And don't forget men have bad day's too!

2. Favorite Foods in a Paint Bucket
Gather favorite local snacks or a hand picked dinner for 2 (pasta, pasta sauce, brownies, etc.)

For the BBQ lover this would be a fun unexpected gift of rubs and infused salts

3. An individualized "sunshine" box

Power Patterns

This summer, it's all about quirky pattern plays. At NYFW 2014 the runways made it clear that the warmer weather is calling for neon mixes, tribal patterns, geometric mirroring, checkerboard and floral mixes. It's fun, interesting and a bit daring. It's a trend that may take you outside your fashion comfort zone but I'm in love with it! Throw your need to match colors to the wind because this style requires you to mix and match different patterns that may not make all that much sense but when put together in an outfit looks fashion forward and bold!

Grief Journey

I am blessed to have this outlet to share life's celebrations and hardships. Sometimes, I am better at expressing myself with written words(besides I can't get through a damn discussion without crying lately!) My topic today is grieving; as we get older, it's inevitable that we will experience loss and grief in some capacity, our loved one's pass away and those loses can be heart wrenching. A pain that can only truly be felt by those who have gone through it.

We have discovered that my Mom's cancer is incurable and the trial she had been accepted into unfortunately did nothing to decrease the size of her tumors. So, now we are faced with a very difficult time where we are both deeply saddened and worried about the future. Not worried about the future of my Mom as she is a woman of amazing faith and will be well taken care of and reunited with loved ones in God's Home. I am instead worried about things like holiday's without her presence or the birth of my children without her there to be the wonderful Grandma I've always known she would be. The thought of a life without her being present is like living with half a heart. It's too hard to imagine and the thought of it brings me to tears. For my own sanity and to be able to function with my work and life, it's crucial that I stay in the present time. I want to enjoy the precious time we have left and cherish our memories. The last thing I want is to have regrets of worrying and being so grief stricken that I'm not able to cherish the time we have together.

My mom is in pain and this has been a 6 year battle with endless chemotherapy, radiation, poking, prodding and surgeries and to see her in pain breaks my heart. I wish so much I could take that pain away so that she doesn't have to suffer. This pain and difficult journey has made me feel more at peace with the thought that she will be Heaven and be pain-free watching over us and being taken care of.

If you are currently grieving please reach out to me as support is crucial. For those who aren't PLEASE ensure that you let your loved one's know each and everyday that you love them. If you haven't forgiven, forgive. For every memory you create cherish it with your whole heart.

* This is an update that my mother was called to heavens gates on May 3rd. I miss her deeply and here is a link to her obituary. I am grieving deeply and I miss her every minute of the day but I have peace in knowing she was a woman of great faith and is being reunited with family members and friends that have passed and is pain free. My heart will always cherish the memories of her as she was my best friend but I do know that she would want nothing more than me to thrive and be happy in my life here on earth. I am not great but I am getting better everyday and with time, I will be able to wrap my head around her death and know that this was her path all along.

Clutter-Free Closet

I would consider myself a pretty organized person, the house is generally picked up and the dishes are washed but DON'T YOU DARE open my closet! What you'll find is an array of clothes and shoes on the floor from attempted outfits that failed miserably were shoved in the closet. Out of sight, out of mind! My closet is chaos, it doesn't make any sense and for this reason, my mornings are rushed and frustrated when they could be effortless, fun and organized.

I have many pieces that never get worn because the task of cleaning out my closet seems like a completely overwhelming task. Don't tell my husband, but I have ALOT of clothes, purses, shoes and accessories in my closet which happens to be fairly small. Even when clothes are clean and hung up, their packed in like sardines making it nearly impossible to see the clothes. I want to make my small closet a pretty space to display my clothing. So, here is my plan to approach this overwhelming task!

1. Purge ferociously. Keep only those pieces that you absolutely love and you currently wear on a regular basis. Think about the one year rule! If you haven't worn it in a year then, say goodbye!

2. If you have a special piece that needs dry cleaning due to a stain or needs to be mended, then do it! Don't let it sit in your closet wasting space. Time to see if these clothes are able to be repaired for wear

3. Try everything on! Yes, this can be a bit time consuming but most likely there are pieces that you want to keep that you haven't tried on for quite some time. It may not fit as you remembered or perhaps your taste has changed.

4. Think quality over quantity. Remember the size of your closet and the breathing room that your clothes need! If the clothes are too big or too small, it no longer belongs in your closet. If you absolutely cant part with it, store it in a bin in the garage so that it's not taking up your precious space.

5. It may be time to color coordinate clothes or organize them to a system that makes sense to you. Make a trip to the container store or target for some additional organization items. Picking out an outfit in the morning should be easy breezy now that you can see all the fun pieces you have!

DIY Organizers:

Shower curtain purse organizer

PVC Pipe and  Pipe Glue for shoe storage

Get these chalkboard tags  and place them on drawers or bins.

Happy Organizing.

"Out of clutter, find simplicity."- Albert Einstein

Faking Flawless

If you love makeup, you've probably seen RMS in the spotlight recently. RMS stands for Rose-Marie Smith whose been a professional makeup artist for over 20 years. She decided to produce a makeup line when she had a series of health issues which were linked to the high levels of toxic metals she had in her blood. She produced an organic line that is not only healthy for your skin but has been dubbed J Crew's 'go-to' makeup line for their models and is growing in popularity.

Written from Refinery29, Until now, the "J.Crew Model Glow" was a secret that was held tightly under wraps. We twisted our hair into messy topknots and slicked on poppy-bright lipsticks in an attempt to recreate that nonchalant M.O. But, the one aspect that was missing from our Crew-inspired get-up was that skin. The J.Crew girl always has skin with the perfect amount of dewiness that manages to look fresh-faced and well-rested (and never greasy). And, now, J.Crew has finally divulged the secret — The Glow is courtesy of products from cult-favorite organic line RMS. Learning that RMS' Living Luminizer is what makes the models' cheekbones shine like sunbeams is kind of a d'oh moment for us. Almost every makeup artist that we've worked with swears by the brand's products — the Lip2Cheek tint and Buriti Bronzer are also major pro faves.

Oceans

I really love this song. It's called, Where Feet May Fail, from the Zion Acoustic Sessions. If you haven't yet listened to all of the acoustic concert which is approximately 2 hours, it is amazing! To watch so many artists in one room singing and worshiping is just awesome. There is so much talent out there and its really a pity that we only get to witness a small portion of it. Hope you enjoy the message and beautiful song as much as I do!

Keep It Simple

I'm definitely guilty of complicating life at times. Often my stress or worry comes from either 1. putting thing off that I need to get done 2. thinking about possible future outcomes I have no control over, or 3. thinking of things from the past that I can not change. Staying present in life is a hard task. Even when I remind myself to stay in the present, my mind can drift to other things in seconds, as petty as, "did I leave the curling iron on? What if the house burns down? did I leave it on the carpet? should I call Ryan? should I call my neighbor?...." and then I remind myself yet again...don't worry about it, you always unplug everything and you need to stop worrying!

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. -John 14:27

I often wonder why I like shows or movies that are cheesy and perhaps unrealistic, okay...very unrealistic and it's because there 'feel good' shows or movies. There is no crazy drama, no cat fights, just pure human life focused on family and friendships. I know it sounds crazy and yes, I do realize that their religion is EXTREMELY distorted but I think about what it would be like to live an Amish life. For nothing more than the simplicity of having no modern day technology. I wonder if I would enjoy this simplicity or be underwhelmed. I suppose the grass is always greener but it's something to think about. With 1 in 4 taking antidepressants in the United Stated, it leaves me to believe that we may be overcomplicated life which in turn may lead to feelings of depression and dissatisfaction.

I came across this very simple yet profound quote. I will be working each week to check one of these tasks off the list with goal of simplifying my life. I invite you to do the same and go on the journey of finding joy in the smallest of things leaving worries and stress behind.

“Dedicate yourself to Love. Decide to let Love be your intention, your purpose, and your point. And then let Love inspire you, support you and guide you in every other dedication you make there." – Robert Holden

This quote wrote by Dr. Holden perfectly summarizes my life's mission and what I want my legacy to be.

3 months to 30!

I know many people dread the big 3-0 but personally, I cant wait! To me it's the beginning of a new phase in my life. I've learned alot in my 20's, many great things and a few not so good situations but overall  I genuinely feel that the best is yet to come.

Packing for a vacation has always been one of my best procrastination moves. I shove things in my bag like I'm being timed and cross my fingers it will all make sense in the end. I've learned just recently that it doesn't work when your left with wearing the same shirt for a few days or freezing because you've forgotten a jacket. This is a classic Lauren behavior. I'd like to pronounce to everyone, that this vacation will be different, after all I'm growing up, remember? I've never felt so in need of a vacation and because of this, I spend my nights daydreaming and preparing lists in my head of what to pack. Here's what my crazy mind has come up with so far!

1. SUNSCREEN! I'm a ginger which means that sunscreen is essential. COOLA is my favorite sunscreen, it's light, refreshing and good for your skin...love their sunscreen chap stick as well.

   2. FRAGRANCE! My mom actually started this tradition since I was young and it's brillant. People have an amazing way of smelling a scent and being brought back to that particular time in our lives. For all my vacations, I chose a new scent and it holds memories. This trip I choose Bobbi Brown's Beach.

 

      3. BEACH TOWEL: I came across a really cute Anthro beach towel which I couldn't pass on.

4. BATHING SUITS: I'm really into wrap bathing suits in a blue tones (imagine that!), cut outs as well as tribal print bathing suits. Here are a couple of my favorites.



6. BEACHY CLOTHING: Vacations are all about staying comfortable yet fashionable. These looks are effortless and can be thrown on over a bathing suit and can translate from day to night with a couple simple adjustments.

7. HATS & SUNNIES! you can't forget to protect those precious eyes and face from the sun.

I'm loving the hand dipped yellow straw hat as well as the new 'Erika' Ray-Ban sunglasses.



 Cheers to an amazing birthday and year ahead:-)