Let's be honest, your much more likely to post something happy than really explain hardships for all your loved one's viewing pleasure. Is this our way of showing that our life is better than other's, or is it that we don't feel comfortable sharing our hardships for fear it appears weak? Feeling down and going through adversity are just a fact of life, unfortunately.
Personally my fear when life get's tough is that I become the dreadful 'Debbie Downer.' I typically put on a brave and happy face only because I feel I have to. Society hasn't exactly made it acceptable to share with other's our true feelings and really get into those deep and meaningful conversations. For example, If you run into someone you haven't seen for awhile you're most likely to say, "I'm doing great, how are you?" rather than, "My life is actually pretty shitty right now to tell you the truth."
This inability or should I say, need to 'appear' happy at all times have led me to some pretty difficult situations where I'm not only being dishonest with myself but also my friends and family.
This comes with great humility to share with all of you that I have had the hardest year to date. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for some time now and some days it has felt debilitating. After much hard work, I am on the mend and so proud to say that I have decided to live a healthier lifestyle which for me was essential to cut out my alcohol consumption. I haven't had a sip of alcohol in 4 months which is still pretty shocking to say! My deep depression came as a great surprise to nearly everyone I know. This is because I felt the need to keep up with society and be "okay." My decision to get sober was because I realized I was using it as a cover to take the edge off or to not feel which ultimately led to a greatly feeling of hopelessness the next day.
Today, I am clear minded, I feel emotions (both good and bad) but the best thing of all is that I feel. I don't have to hide behind the glass or the facade any longer. The struggles of personal and family illness has become bearable rather than giving me complete sadness. I can tell you exactly how I'm feeling and I don't fake a smile. I'm authentic, I'm how God made me, yes, terribly emotional but loving and passionate which are traits I'm proud to have. I'm not sorry about, nor do I really care what other's say because I have the confidence and the love I had always longed for. My hope for you is that you reach out if you are struggling, from my experience people are inspired and proud. My hope is that you find a content version of yourself and live a life of authenticity where your free to voice your opinion and show people TRUELY how you feel!
